Okay……so I oddly ended up at the opening night of the newest superhero movie, Civil War, while my comic-obsessed husband watched the kids. I truly do love superhero movies, but I usually stand by the side on opening night and smile knowingly as my husband and his mutually superhero-loving friends go see the show. I love hearing about the amazing movie each time, and know I will see it later and in less of a panic. I knew it was really a lot to ask him to watch the kids while I went. However, he totally did (!) – it was his cousin Jessica’s birthday and this was her request, and he was happy to give us the night out while he and her husband hung out with the kids.
So…..anyway, as you probably know by now it was AMAZING. And double bonus that I didn’t expect, (having a couple of hours to sit and laugh at the movies sounded just dreamy) I was really shocked by how the content of the film touched my heart, especially in the context of how evil influences can get us off track from our missions, so much that I wanted to remember it here.
As you can guess from the title, just like in any civil war, the heroes in this movie end up fighting themselves due to evil coupled with misunderstandings and hurts of the heart.
By the end of the movie, many of the main characters were really seeing things in a skewed dimension of bitterness. It became obvious to the viewers that while the villain watched on with peaceful but sad victory (he too had been marred by pain which had led him to want vengeance), that he had gotten what he wanted.
It was easy for me to relate to my work in this time as well as to my personal life. Right now, marriage is being attacked in our culture and so this was the easiest civil war context I could relate to (I am a couple’s counselor also!). When a husband and wife argue, there are so many other things that have to stop moving forward while they duke it out. Most obvious if they are parents, their life with the kids takes a turn for the worst, even if it’s just that mom and dad are less available, busier, crankier, more fatigued, or sadder because of the civil war in the home. If they are workers, they may be running late or not as effective with their clients or at their caseload. In the movie, precious time was lost in saving the world while the villains ravaged innocent people and the superheros compromised and fought against one another.
To every viewer in the theater, our hearts resonated with truth, and we understand that dance of pain that was being played out on screen all too well. Everyone knew that evil would reign if the characters didn’t let go of their personal agendas. But my questions to any lingering reader is, Why did this echo in our hearts as easily as the wind and the trees so effortlessly work together in harmony, but we deny the incidence of evil in “real life”?
Why can’t we stop to recognize that when we get caught up in fighting with our spouses, this is also true, that evil lurks and reigns. While one spouse is thinking of her pain and hurt, and the other is thinking of his annoyance and rights, their influence has lost its force in a myriad of ways. They cannot offer the same type of support to their kids so they will likely be on video games more, relying on sugar more, dealing with painful feelings themselves more, etc. The fighting extends to others when there is a civil war in the home. And the casualties take place in the hearts of everyone and everything you long to influence and accomplish.
I loved the movie not only for the eye candy and fun graphics, but because it resonated so deeply inside of me. It reminded me that evil influence does exist inside of each of us as well as in a narrative outside. It reminded me that sometimes I give permission for the villain to live right inside of me, but that is is also a lurking force on the outside. In this movie, the evil was more complexly addressed so we could understand that even most villains are not purely evil from the start. However, one man did become perhaps purely evil because he allowed (and that is an important word here) evil to seep in and to change him. It prioritized his pain first and he lost care for anyone else.
We could all do this at any given time. Give in to the civil wars in our own lives that lurk within our hearts and in our marriages. This movie, even as I lounged in the comfy chairs, throwing popcorn into my mouth and laughing with merriment over the witty and debonair Robert Downy Jr jokes, loved the complex story arc issues, and drank in the thrilling cinematography, made me remember this echo in the real world. And it made me want to share it with whomever may also find encouragement from those types of echoes.
The echoes that say, Don’t get caught up in the war. Remember you will only add to the casualties. As soon as you can stop fighting, do (because let’s face it, just as in the movie, some wars, need to be fought). Don’t let it consume you, don’t add to the casualties. There is hope, and there is a choice and you can change lives for the future if you choose to remain free of malice, rage, unforgiveness, your “rights,” as a diva or dude in this “me” culture.
If you are a Christian, remember that you too, are a rare person, an “enhanced” human being of sorts, one who was the Holy Spirit inside of you, giving you power to help others to change and to become God’s special creatures. You come with a specific blueprint inside of you to mark this world with traces of Christ everywhere you go. Keep seeking out comrades to join you on your journey to this kind of war, the war not against other people, but against the true enemy, the dark prince of this world, the war that exists in the spiritual realm.
Remember these movies resonate because of this reality. Be part of the solution. Be slow to anger, slow to rage, slow to selfishness and slow to stir up strife. Use the same energy you would have used on the next civil war in your own home to help someone off the battlefront, to offer them a refreshing drink, to get some rest yourself, to laugh, to add beauty to the world, and to walk away from the sin that so easily mars.
And yeah, I’m going to the next Avengers movie, but I can let Wes go first! 🙂
For more marriage tips, visit www.ReflectionsCC.com or my blog at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com